More pain for more grace

Life goes by so quickly...

I blinked and suddenly I'm not a kid anymore.

There are times where I realize where God has me today and it blows me away.

I feel like I was just eight years old playing dolls with my sisters.
All those late night conversations and how we all thought it would be so weird when one of us got married.
Well, I just watched my oldest sister get married to the man she has been praying for all these years.
I stood there, watching her dance with her husband and it made me realize just has quickly time is passing by.

I think about that list by my bed when I was just learning how to write. With the numbers 1-100 all down the side and how I wanted to name all 100 of the kids I yearned to hold and protect and love. That desire is still there but now I am living a small piece of it.

All through my childhood I dreamed and prayed about the day I could move overseas and work with children. Today I just bought chocolate and smarties to bring back to the little ones I get to love on each and every day. It's been four years with those cuties.

Four years of loving those precious little ones that I had dreamed about loving. 18 years of praying and dreaming and hoping and planning.

God was preparing me those 18 years and has continued to teach me and grow me during these 4 at Casa de Esperanza in Bolivia.

Every struggle and hard moment was worth it. All the closed doors only meant that God would open the right door in His perfect timing. At the time it didn't make sense and it hurt. But now looking back on it, I see more clearly how God was leading me. I won't fully understand all of it but I have learned that God has it under control. But I still have so much to learn.

Watching my sister get married made me realize just how much more God has in store for me... it's not over yet! I feel small and young but remember that God is so much bigger than my weaknesses and youth. He is GOD. Pretty much all I need is in those three words.

He will NOT let me go.
He will lead me in His PERFECT plan.
He LOVES me.
He is FOR me.

My only reaction is to reach out and let Him wrap me in His arms and lead me on.

More abandoned babies, more hurting children, more broken single mamas, more pain.

But more of God's love, more of his healing, more of His forgiveness and more of His grace.

Every bit of brokenness I encounter or find in my own heart, I get to see God heal and restore.

Ashes to beauty.

I love seeing God work. I am excited to see God continue to work.

May He keep refining us and making us more into His image!
All glory to Him!

In Christ,
Lily Fluharty

They make me smile

David, Cecila and Ismael

After a quick break of being home... two weeks of sunshine and my sister's beautiful wedding...

I am heading back to Bolivia this weekend and I cannot wait to wrap up my little ones and smother them with kisses. I am missing them. Excited to finally be able to upload some pics! I don't get to do it enough and these smiling faces light up my day!

All my babies... well one is missing

Enjoying coconut milk

Ariel sewing with Anna

Mateo 

Love these beautiful kids

July, Peniel, Emanuel and Abigail

Perfect excuse to come home. Congratulations Lindsey!

Will hopefully be writing again before I head back! Until then,
God bless!!! Excited to see Him lead and guide me!

~Lily Flu

8 under 5

8 under 5...

New little guy makes the crazy kid count in my house 8... plus the other Tia I live with has two kids who are 3 and 1...

10 under 5...

watching my littlest giggle and scrunch up her nose

seeing our newest learn to smile and receive love

hearing my 4 year old pray at night and pray for my family

watching my biggest little man jump around and be So HAPPY

hugging my 3 year old and hearing her call me "Mami"

Laughing as my chubby 4 year old FINALLY learns to jump

singing with my 1 year old

getting BIG hugs from my precious 5 year old with special needs

Oh the beauty of loving these children and receiving so much love...

I'm heading to the States for a couple of weeks for my sister's wedding and I'm excited to see God continue to work!!! Hopefully in the States I can get some more blog posts written... hooray for bad internet here! ;)

Continually amazed at what God is doing in my heart and in my house. Love seeing Him so graciously leading me in His perfect plan.

His great love will lead me through. My peace, my joy, my Father!!!

Much love,
Lily Flu

Screaming

Screaming.
One of my little guys decided that this week would be a week of screaming.
Wonderful.
And one of my little gals decided to join him.
Let's just say this was a very loud week in my house!
It's in moments with two little ones screaming and two babies on their potty chairs waiting to be changed and two little girls running around laughing and kind of putting on pajamas and one looking for her toothbrush and another one yelling, "Tia Lily, toilet paper PLEASE" that I either just about lose it or start laughing.
So many times do I need grace in the midst of the chaos.
It's not always kisses and hugs.
I LOVE and treasure those moments. ALOT.
But all moms know that in between those beautiful moments there are moments of pure chaos where you literally don't know which kid to tend to first and usually go towards who is screaming the loudest just to bring the noise level down a few notches.
Beautiful chaos how redemptive you are.

Seeing God refine and work in me in those chaotic moments. In the moments where I would much rather sleep in than wake up and re-clean the house and restart the chaos.

But God.

That's where my hope lies. In the hard days, in the good days, it's all up to Him! I am not here because of me. It's all about Jesus and His goodness and love. It's beautiful. I can find rest in Him even in the craziest of crazy moments.

And every hug and kiss completely wipes away every frustration.

We have been working on a memory verse all month and I have been amazed seeing the little ones memorize it! It's Hebrews 4:12-13 (In Spanish) and each little one LOVES it when it's their time to recite it by memory. Even 2 year old Emanuel knows most of it!!! Mariros (3 years old) usually throws in the word Princess here and there too... ;)

 For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

God is ALIVE AND ACTIVE!!!!

So blessed at everything God is teaching me and learning to trust Him isn't always easy but it's All for HIM!!!

Thank you all for your love and support and prayers!!!!

In Christ who completely blows me away,
Lily Flu

Mother's Day

Today we celebrated Mother's Day at church with a special lunch of Sajta de Pollo which is my favorite dish here in Bolivia. It's chicken with chuños and potatoes and a spicy sauce! So delicious! After lunch, as we drove back up to Casa de Esperanza, the truck stopped and wouldn't start up again… which means over a half hour of waiting all squished into a truck. I had two babies in my arms and they were wiggly! haha! But finally, another truck from Casa came back to get us and we rode up with all the younger kids singing praise music at the top of our lungs! Such a fun afternoon!

Blessed by so many little ones who smother me with their hugs and kisses. For little boys who give me Mother's Day cards and hug me and bigger boys who give me Mother's day cards and still hug me! Blessed by little babies who wrap their arms around my neck or giggle and scrunch up their noses. Thankful for older girls who make me laugh and smile. Thankful for a little ones who copy me in raising their hands during worship.

BLESSED!!!

Learning to find joy in every day! Learning to thank God and find His unending beauty. He is faithful! He is beautiful and so worthy!

In Christ Jesus who's love is beautiful,
Lily Fluharty

Because He is stronger

This past week we had three days with no running water. With 9 babies and toddlers, 3 days with no water is NOT easy. Running outside in the rain at night to fill up buckets and bathing so many little munchkins with 1 bucket of water isn't easy. The rain means water but also means mud and on Tuesday, I ran back and forth barefoot to the Sala where we eat lunch from my house carrying the kids two by two under a green plastic rain poncho so they wouldn't get wet. Little adventures haha!

On Wednesday, we celebrated Mother's Day here in Bolivia and it was such a special day. The Tios (Uncles) thanked all the Tias for serving and loving the children here and we received little gifts of chocolate and oreos! A few of the little boys gave me Mother's Day cards and one of the boys told me, "You are like a mama to me. I hug you every day because I love you." It completely blessed me.

There are days filled with laughter and where I want to explode with joy. The kids are HILARIOUS and make me laugh. There are also hard moments where I need grace to love a stubborn toddler who is screaming and screaming and screaming just to show me how mad he is and that he will NOT sleep.

I am learning. I am learning to rest in God's arms. His strength is sufficient. I feel so weak at times and there are times I have no clue what I am doing. But I know God is at work. I know He is leading me. I know that He is with me. I am not alone.

All the glory goes to Him! In the moments where I am covered in hugs and kisses from my little ones and the hard moments when a little one is disobedient or had an accident AGAIN… There are times I react impatiently and can only cry out to God for help.

I am weak. He is strong!!! I still cannot believe how faithful God is. In the good days and the harder days, Jesus is with us! We are called to obey and love Him because He first loved us!

I keep wanting to update more regularly but haven't had time… thank you for those who still check in to this blog… :) Excited to see God continue to lead and guide me.

Much love and thank you for your prayers and support!!!

In Christ,
Lily Fluharty

Feliz Cumpleaños

“Feliz Cumpleaños Tia Lily!!!”

I had a very special birthday filled with smiles, hugs, lots of extra kisses from my little ones, a surprise cake at 4:50 am and a hug that included an egg getting smashed on my head, coming out of the shower at 5:30am and having all my little ones awake and waiting for me outside the door to give me kisses and hugs. A slow, relaxing morning and a beautiful, sunny afternoon of snuggling with my 7 munchkins and laughing with them. Then in the afternoon celebrating with the staff and being afraid of getting more eggs smashed one me... well they added things to the mixture and I found a clementine, flour and egg all smashed on my head again and my face in a cake (several times) plus some icing on my face... oh laughter and friendship. Had a wonderful time eating the cake (with a little less frosting thanks to the fingers and tongue of Emanuel) and singing “Feliz Cumpleaños” with my little guys at night. Then we cleaned the house and I snuggled into bed with my little girls and we read “5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed”. I was blessed by some very thoughtful gifts from a few of the Tias and a very special stuffed animal from Ely! The best surprise was a belated birthday gift of BACON! Let’s just say I freaked out and ended up eating it at 11:30 pm with one of the older girls, Noemi. So delicious!!! 

So blessed by the past 21 years of my life and excited to see what the year 22 will bring! God has been so faithful and His faithfulness and love is unending. Praying that each year, my life would bring glory to God and that as I get a year closer to eternity, that God would continue to conform me to His image and I would continue to die to myself so that Christ may life more richly inside of me. Oh for the day when I am with my Savior for ever! 

Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes! I felt so loved! Many blessings and a GIANT hug from Bolivia!

In Christ,

Lily Fluharty