Feeling so much love for the little one curled up next to me whispering, "mommy"
Feeling exhausted after a busy week
I was frustrated with myself for reacting in frustration
It was a couple of days with stubborn little kids
It was a week of lots of hugs from my oldest
I was feeling excited/impatient waiting for my MOM to get here in a week!!!!!
Lots of feelings all mixed up together... and I felt overwhelmed.
Wanted to curl up and sleep but I couldn't even sleep.
I opened up my Bible to Isaiah and prayed that God would show me His truth.
And He whispered this to me...
Because you are precious in My sight and honored, and because I love you, I will give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your offspring from the east [where they are dispersed] and gather you from the west.
And it blew me away.
In all my frustrations and insecurity and feeling inadequate- God whispered to me...
"Lily I love you. You are precious to me."
It made me weep.
It blows me away that He uses me. I fail so many times and fall short. He could and does love these children 10000 times better than I do. But He delights in using me in all my imperfection to share His love. He loves seeing me learn and grow and laugh.
He delights in me. How amazing is His love and grace!!!
Much love and many blessings from Bolivia,
Lily Fluharty
4 comments:
I'm weeping my precious.. over Gods nearness to you and who you are. I love you precious Lils, Oh and He used you again ... to bless me and show me Himself.~P
God is so amazingly good and faithful. What joy to see your heart poured out and God's nearness to you, Lils. I cannot believe I will see you on the mountain this week. Love you, Mama
I told your mama this, but I need to tell you too. Lily, you are my hero. I don't know exactly when, but a while ago it hit me that you aren't just someone working with children in an orphanage, your daily function is much the same as a mommy. I am a mommy because I have three wonderful children that God gifted via my womb and some days it's so exhausting and I get so sinfully frustrated that I wish I could give up my title as "mom". And then I will see a blog post of yours or see you and your sweet ones pictures on Facebook and I'm reminded that you are a mommy to these mommy-less little ones and you are so by choice. You are pouring your life into these children exactly as a mommy would. It's a HUGE evidence of the grace of God at work in your life and it's a beautiful example and constant source of encouragement to me.
I am praying that you continue to feel God's delight in you; that you feel as precious to Him as the little ones in your arms feel to you. He gives His children good gifts and you are an incredible gift to these children.
Sending my love and a hug through your sweet mama.
-Heidi
Thank you so much Heidi! It is so encouraging to hear that and so humbling. God has a crazy sense of humor and it makes me laugh at times that He chose me to be "mommy" to so many so fast. I love it though and am so blessed by where He has lead me. Thank you for your prayers! So blessed by your family!
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