Lily's kids

Lily's kids

Saturday, January 11, 2014

My little screamer

Today I had the day off. A much needed day off after an exhausting week. My little screamer has a tough couple of weeks with lots of tantrums and screaming and I was feeling so discouraged. “I can’t do it Jesus!” I ended up praying. “I don’t know how to help her. How to reach her. How to help her change.” I was trying to do it in my own strength. Heard someone talking about being frustrated with their little one today, “It’s not their fault, they are just babies.” 

It strangely encouraged me. My little screamer has been through SO much. So much that I will never know and that she will never be able to express. It’s not her fault. She has been hurt and abused and has seen and lived through so much more than she should have. My little screamer. So tiny and precious and I do love her so so much despite the screaming, the tantrums, the fighting back, the endless talks... and God’s love for her makes mine invisible in comparison. 

How beautiful! God has His hand on each of these precious lives. He knows their hurt and pain. His love is a sovereign love. What they have experienced is not their fault. And I pray each day that God would give me grace to react in love. It’s so easy to react in frustration or agitation. 

How does God respond to me?

With LOVE.
With Forgiveness.

I scream. I throw tantrums. I fight back. 

God tells me he loves me. He holds me. He is patient.

Tonight at bedtime she wasn’t listening well. I kissed her goodnight and told her I loved her. I encouraged her to obey. Tears filled the eyes of my little screamer who rarely cries. I kissed her one more time and she leaned down from her top bunk and kissed my cheek and went right to sleep. 

Writing this I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I put more energy into my screamer than into any child in my home. About 40% of my time is spent with her. It isn’t easy. But my strength isn’t from me. God loves this little one and I am so grateful that the love I have for her is from God. 

My little screamer how I love you. Especially on the days when you are more giggles than screams.

Much love from Bolivia!

Lily and the rest of the munchkins


Thomas Fluharty said...

Love this Lils, Love the last line especially. God is using you precious! All my love~Papa

Tamara van Tongeren said...

Yes indeed, not in youre own strenght but in Papa's strenght. He knows what the little screamer needs and is also using you. And thank you sooooo much for youre patient and loving these children. Many blessings for you my sis. Xxx

Anonymous said...

This is beautiful Lily, God bless you!! Thank you for what you do for the least of these.

Lydia Standridge

Kris said...

Thank you for sharing, Lily. I will think of you and pray for you especially when I am overwhelmed with my own little screamer. I can't imagine what it is like taking care of ten little ones everyday but it is good to be reminded that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. God's grace is sufficient for us in our weakness...