When they leave

When you realize that they really aren't yours.
When you are powerless to protect them.
When you won't get to kiss those soft cheeks again.
When they leave.


Please don't take him away. I trust you Lord but don't put him back into a bad situation. Keep him safe.

How do you trust when the answer is no?

This has been a post that I have had in my head. I can't write about it. It hurts. The injustice and pain that this little boy is going through. When the courts rule in the favor of his family and he goes back to them. It's scary not knowing what he'll face.

Sometimes I feel like I know the better situation for him. Here he will be safe, loved, cared for. Yes he is back with family but his mother proved herself unfit to care for him. Why a second chance? What are they thinking? I was mad. Sad. Hurt. He had been doing so well…

I had prayed that if the courts DID rule in his grandfather's favor, that his grandfather would love and care for him and protect him. But instead his mother comes to pick him up? I was angry. Angry at the injustice of this world and the way helpless children get caught in the middle.

"Trust me. I love him more than you ever could, Lily." Is what I heard God telling me.

But it hurts to trust when you don't want to say goodbye.

"I don't want him to get hurt…"

It hurts when I learn how they really aren't mine. It hurts when I feel helpless and powerless to protect the children I feel called to protect. An empty crib. An empty space in my heart. He's gone.

God DOES love Ariel more than I do. He knows what's best for him. He will protect him.

I loved this quote (can't remember who it's by)
"He will lead them gently through the wilderness of the world."

I may never see Ariel Oliver again but I know that I will never forget that precious boy and how soft his cheeks were when I kissed him every morning as he woke up.

It breaks my heart. Life is hard. But God is a loving and merciful Father in the middle of a dark and violent world.

Please continue praying for little Ariel. Pray that God would transform the hearts of his family and that Ariel would be safe and grow up loving His Savior.

Much love,
Lily Fluharty