Where home is…

Have a million things to write and stories to tell but can't find the words…

It's crazy not being there… not folding a mountain of clothes and snapping pics of the baby on top…

It's really hard to go from being responsible for 10 babies and surrounded by 60 more and never being alone to being back home on vacation. It definitely feels good to relax and enjoy time with family but sometimes I feel restless.

I miss the craziness of living life so hard I crash into bed at night with feet so tired they hurt and falling asleep before my head hits the pillow.

How can something so good like coming home be so hard? It's a good hard. It's a hard that's even hard to put into words. My life over there is so different. I am the same. But it's just different. 

In a way it is more exciting… just gonna be honest… I mean, I've never carried a sheep here in the States… haha… 

But living overseas isn't all fun and a cool vacation getaway. It's hard. I've made a new home that will never be fully home because I've left my other home behind. It's a new home that will never fully be mine because even though I love it, I can never really be Bolivian. It's like being stuck in between. Coming home I realize that I don't fit in where I used to. And in Bolivia there aren't lots of tall gringas (pretty much any white person) walking around the small town where I live. 

I've seen God do crazy things. He has shown His faithfulness again and again. And as I have fallen in love with 70 beautiful children, breathtaking mountains, a different way of life, a new language and so much more… I have fallen deeper in love with my Savior. I don't have to belong to a country. Or a culture. I don't really belong anyway. Wherever I am, I will always miss one of my homes. But I think that's the way it is supposed to be anyway. Because one day, I'll go to be with Jesus and know that I am HOME.

I've realized that home isn't where you were born, or raised. It's not where your family is. It's not where your ministry is. It's not where there are 70 kids screaming your name. It's not where you feel safest or most loved. Home is resting in God's perfect plan. Resting in His love.

Thank you all soooo much for your love and support. I have been so encouraged and blessed.

Much love,

~Lily Fluharty